


Yer A Lizard Waverly

by yeralizardwaverly



Series: Wayhaught Crack AUs [1]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, like idek what this is anymore, so much crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 16:20:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8630818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeralizardwaverly/pseuds/yeralizardwaverly
Summary: The long awaited Lizard AU. And by long awaited I mean me and like 4 other people waited for like 3-5 months for me to stop being a cunt and to finish this.(“What.. .what did you do to her?! ” Waverly’s head snaps up, eyes red-rimmed and angry as she meets the Stone Witch’s gaze.Constance’s smirk falls, “Are you actually asking me? Because I thought what I did was pretty obvious. I mean, she’s a lizard now...I turned her into a lizard.”)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bisexualpinkranger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualpinkranger/gifts).



> So much crack. Prepare yourselves.

It starts with a spell.

Well, actually it starts about an hour earlier with Waverly asking Nicole if she wants to join the ‘special badge team’ for their daily late night donut run. At first Nicole declines the offer--she doesn’t want to intrude on such sacred tradition--but her answer changes after some pleading from Waverly and a reassurance from both Wynonna and Dolls that she’d be more than welcome. Nicole offers to drive them in one of the squad cars, and Wynonna immediately calls shotgun. “What? It’ll be my first time not handcuffed in the backseat,” she explains in response to the questioning looks from the other three. She climbs into the car as Dolls mumbles a ‘sorry’ to Waverly and Nicole.

The drive takes twice as long as it normally should--thanks to the heavy snow and the flat tire they get the second they turn onto the main road--so by the time they arrive at Sam’s Donuts, they’re used to the heat of the car, and stepping out into the cold is something that’s almost painful. Knowing how easily her girlfriend gets cold, Nicole immediately wraps her arms around Waverly and pulls the younger girl into her side. They’re only parked about ten feet from the entrance, but that doesn’t stop the snow from piling on their shoulders and heads. And it certainly doesn’t make the warmth of the bakery feel any less welcome.

They shake the icy buildup from their clothes before collapsing into one of the booths, Dolls and Wynonna opposite Waverly and Nicole. “Would you mind getting the donuts for us?” Dolls asks. “I have something that I need to go over with these two.” “Oh, yeah, of course,” Nicole types their orders into her phone before walking up to the counter.

The girl behind the cash register straightens herself and smiles. “Hello, I’m Mae, what can I get you?” Nicole reads off the order, glancing over at the booth as she waits for Mae to get everything together. Dolls and Wynonna seem to be in a very heated debate that Waverly is trying to stay out of. The youngest Earp sighs and turns in Nicole's direction, face immediately breaking into a smile when she meets her girlfriend's eyes. Nicole gives her a small wave, before dropping her hand back to her side. 'Are they annoying you?' she mouths to Waverly. The younger girl rolls her eyes and nods, and she's about to mouth something back when Mae grabs Nicole's attention.

"Do you need help bringing these to the table?" Mae asks, gesturing to the two trays piled with food. "Oh, no thanks, I think I can handle them," Nicole smiles. "Alright well your total comes out to $13.70." Nicole hands over a twenty and waits while Mae struggles to open the register. She bangs on the side a few times and yanks hard on the money drawer, but it remains shut. "Damn it," Mae mutters. "Here I think I might have some other money," Nicole reaches into her jacket pockets and pulls up a few crumpled up bills and about a dozen coins. She hands over a five and two ones before separating the different coins into piles. "You know what?" Mae lays her hand on Nicole's, stopping her movements, "I'll cover the rest." Nicole looks up, "Are you sure?" Mae nods, "Yeah, don't even worry about it."

"You really don't have to."

Mae shrugs. "Maybe not. But I have a thing for girls in uniform."

"Oh," Nicole fiddles with her jacket zipper, "Look, I'm flattered but I have a girlfriend."

Mae's eyes widen and she immediately starts to apologize.

"It's okay," Nicole reassures, "I just...I didn't want you to get the wrong idea or anything."

"No, no it's fine. I should’ve known you were taken." Mae pointedly glances at Nicole's name tag, "The Haught ones always are."

Nicole snorts, "That was quite possibly the worst name pun I've ever heard."

"Thanks," she grins, "I try."

Nicole grabs the trays of food, "Well thank you for spotting me the money, but I should probably take these over there."

Mae nods, "Alright, enjoy the food!"

"Thanks," Nicole smiles before walking back to their table.

"--Stone Witch is still out there somewh--"

"Hey Nicole!" Dolls cuts Wynonna off and smiles at the cop. "How much do we owe you?"

"Oh no it's fine, this is on me," Nicole protests.

"No, seriously," Dolls pulls out his wallet, "How much was it? Here. Take fifteen."

Nicole pulls back from the table, hands shoving deep into her pockets as she shakes her head. "Don't worry about it." Offhandedly she adds, "I got a discount anyway." Waverly stiffens, gripping her donut with more force than necessary; it crumbles a bit in her hand, buttermilk pieces falling back onto the ceramic plate. "A discount?" she asks, looking up at Nicole. "What?" Wynonna whines, "We never get discounts."

Nicole slides into the booth and winks at the older Earp sister, "It's all in the uniform."

"So," Waverly unfolds her napkin and spreads it on her lap, "Did she hit on you?"

"Yeah," Nicole shrugs, "But I told her I was taken so she stopped."

“Are you?” Wynonna looks up at the officer, “Taken I mean?”

Dolls chokes on his donut. Waverly and Nicole look at each other, eyes widening as they realize that Wynonna still hasn’t figured it out. They turn back to the heir, who looks more confused than ever as she pounds her partner’s back. “Is there something you guys know that I don’t?”

Nicole knocks her knee against Waverly’s and the smaller girl pinches her thigh in retaliation. “I have to use the bathroom,” Nicole quickly leaves the booth. Waverly avoids eye contact with Wynonna and stands, “I’m gonna go too...make sure she doesn’t fall in or anything.”

“Dolls, what the fuck is going on?” Wynonna asks once Waverly is out of sight. He takes a sip of his coffee, “I think they need to pee or something.” “Okay fine,” Wynonna seethes, crossing her arms over her chest and sulking, “Don’t tell me.” Dolls rolls his eyes and takes another bite of his food. The two of them sit in tense silence until the bell on the door rings and Constance Clootie walks in. “Shit,” Wynonna ducks down, using her hair to hide her face from the witch. Dolls tenses, hand moving to rest on the gun inside his jacket.

“You get the food, I’m going to freshen up,” Constance says to the burly guard.

“Fuck,” Wynonna mutters, watching as she heads to the bathroom.

* * *

“She’s _your_ sister!”

“Yeah well she’s _your_ friend!”

“So?”

“Fine,” Waverly sighs.

“You’ll tell her?”

“No. We’ll tell her together.”

“Okay,” Nicole agrees, “Together….are we doing it right now though?”

“I mean we could do it now or when we get back to th--”

“Well, well, well, look who it is.” Constance strolls into the bathroom, “Waverly Earp. Keeper of the bones.” Nicole moves forward, stepping protectively between Waverly and the Stone Witch. “What do you want?” she asks, hand moving to the taser in her holster. Constance laughs, the sound loud and harsh as it echoes off the walls of the bathroom, “Why don’t you ask your girlfriend?”

“The bones are mine,” Waverly pokes her head out from behind her girlfriend, “I’m not going to just hand them over to you.” Nicole nods in agreement, disregarding the fact she has no idea what “the bones” are….or who they are for that matter.

“Fine,” Constance sneers, “I guess it would be rather stupid of me to think you’d give them up without any incentive. So….here.” Constance mutters something under her breath and points her hand towards Nicole. The redhead gasps and doubles over, struggling to breath as her body slams against the floor tiles. Waverly quickly pulls her body onto her lap and rocks her gently, promising that it’s going to be okay and that she’s going to fix things. Nicole tries to respond, but her mouth refuses to make any noise. She moves her hand up to Waverly’s cheek, but immediately pulls away when she notices the deep orange color her skin has turned.

Nicole feels like her skin is shrinking around her bones, and the pain is unbearable. Waverly tries to push down the fear rising in her chest, but watching as her girlfriend turns orange and skeleton-like is something that’s hard for her to stomach. When it seems like Nicole’s bones are about to break out of her skin, they start to shrink. _She_ starts to shrink.

Constance smirks, admiring her handiwork as Nicole’s transformation completes itself, and a bright orange gecko looks up at her from Waverly’s lap.

“What.. _.what did you do to her?!_ ” Waverly’s head snaps up, eyes red-rimmed and angry as she meets the Stone Witch’s gaze.

Constance’s smirk falls, “Are you actually asking me? Because I thought what I did was pretty obvious. I mean, she’s a lizard now...I turned her into a lizard.”

“No, I know that she’s a lizard but--”

“So why did you ask what I did to her?” Constance cuts her off, obviously confused.

“I mean I have working eyes, I can obviously see that she transformed into a lizard. I meant like...is it reversible or is it permanent?”

“Okay well sorry if I’m not used to people asking questions that they already know the answers to,” Constance snaps. “And whether or not the spell is permanent is entirely up to you.”

“What do you want from me?” Waverly’s eyes narrow.

“Your bones.”

“The ones in my body?”

Constance pinches the bridge of her nose, “No, no, why would I want the bones in your body?”

Waverly shrugs, “Soup?”

“Soup?”

“I mean you’re a witch right? Don’t they like soup?”

“Sure but like….Campbell's soup….not human bone soup.”

“Okay well sorry, you could have been a bit more specific,” Waverly says exasperatedly.

“Right, it’s not like I’ve been trying to get the bones from you ever since that day at the blacksmith.”

“Okay well either way I’m not giving up the bones.”

Constance smiles, “Well then it’s a good thing you’re not the only one I can make my offer to.” She repeats the words from earlier, this time casting the spell on Waverly. She watches the Earp writhe in pain and finally shrink down to the size of her girlfriend. Constance scoops them both up, checking her hair in the mirror before walking out of the restroom and over to where Wynonna and Dolls are trying to blend in with the window. Constance drops the lizards onto the table, using her body to shield the sight of them from the girl behind the register. Dolls’ eyes immediately widen in realization, and it only takes a few more seconds for Wynonna’s to do the same. “Turn them back,” she growls, pulling Peacemaker out enough for it to be visible to Constance.

“Now, now, let’s not get hasty here. After all, you kill me and they have no chance of changing back.”

Wynonna places the gun back in its holster.

“That’s better. Now, if you want the two of them back I’m going to need the bones.”

“The bones?” Dolls asks.

“Bones? Are you planning on making a soup?” Wynonna quips.

Constance’s eye twitches.

“Ignore her,” Dolls says, “What bones are you talking about?”

“The ones Waverly was given,” the blonde says, eyeing the brown lizard with distaste.

“Oh,” Dolls smiles, “Those bones.”

“So you know where they are?”

“Of course I do. But why should I trust that you’ll change them back?” Dolls asks.

“Why should I trust that you’re not lying to me about the bones?”

“Fair point. Alright, I’ll make you a deal: two nights from now at nine o’clock, we meet in this parking lot and do a trade off. I’ll give you the bones, and you’ll change Waverly and Nicole back.”

“Deal,” Constance says, “See you in two nights Earp.” She joins her guard who is now weighed down with coffee and donuts, and together they disappear into the cold outside.

Wynonna waits until their car rolls away before leaning across the table, “What bones was she talking about.”

Dolls takes a large swig of his coffee, “No clue. But the good news is we have two nights to find out.”

* * *

“So what are we supposed to do with them?” Wynonna asks.

“Well not crushing them would be nice,” Dolls says, referring to the way Wynonna has them pinned between her hands and her chest.

“Right,” she loosens her hold a bit. “But seriously Dolls, I don’t know anything about lizard care.”

“Well luckily for you I’m part lizard,” Dolls says as he unlocks the patrol car.

“Hardy har,” Wynonna says, rolling her eyes as she jumps into the front seat. “What are we going to tell Nedley?”

“About Nicole?” Dolls asks as he pulls onto the main road.

“No, about the other police officer who got turned into a lizard,” Wynonna says sarcastically.

“I don’t know we’ll think of something.”

“We could say she died.”

Dolls brings the car to a stop, shutting off the engine so that the two of them sit in complete silence and darkness.

“Dolls--”

“We are not going to tell Nedley that Nicole Haught died.”

“Right,” Wynonna says, “Well let’s see you come up with a better idea.”

Dolls starts up the car again and moves them forward, “We’ll tell him that she was too sick to come and Waverly is taking care of her. Sound good?”

Wynonna shrugs, “Isn’t that a bit of an overused excuse?”

“Wynonna, _we are not going to tell Nedley that Nicole died_.”

“Fine,” she huffs, “We’ll stick with your plan.”

“No shit we will,” Dolls mumbles.

* * *

“Okay you wait here,” Wynonna says, “I’m going to go grab the lizard holders.”

“Lizard holders?”

“Yeah, their little glass box thingies.”

“Okay, those are called tanks. Please go in there and ask for the lizard tanks and not the lizard holders.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever.” Wynonna zips up her jacket and steps outside, moving quickly through the snow to get to the pet store. She pushes open the door and makes her way to the counter where a boy no older than sixteen sits in a blue t-shirt, fighting to keep himself awake. Upon seeing Wynonna, he straightens up, rubbing at his eyes before yawning. “Sorry, sorry. This is my first time working the night shift,” he admits. “No worries,” Wynonna smiles.

“Is there something I can help you find?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Wynonna pulls the lizards from her pockets and sets them on the counter, “I need two small tanks.”

The boy nods, “Wait here.” He moves out from behind the counter and disappears down one of the aisles. Wynonna sighs and looks down at Nicole and Waverly, who have curled up on the cool wood of the counter. “Don’t worry, me and Dolls will get you two back to normal.” She sticks her finger out to stroke Waverly, but the lizard dodges her touch.

“Are these a good size?” the boy asks, setting the two tanks down on the counter.

“Perfect,” Wynonna nods. She pulls her wallet from her pocket and pays him before setting Nicole and Waverly in their separate tanks.

“Have a nice night,” the boy smiles.

“Thanks! You too!” Wynonna calls out before squaring her shoulders and stepping outside.

* * *

“Okay, so what do we do now?” Wynonna asks after setting the two tanks onto the coffee table.

“We find the bones and we make a trade,” Dolls says.

“Wait, we’re actually giving her the bones?”

“Something like that,” Dolls sighs, “Just...don’t worry. I have a plan. So for now, I’ll look in the shed, and you look in her bedroom. Yell if you find something.”

Wynonna nods and disappears upstairs. Dolls crouches down next to Waverly and Nicole, watching as they stare at each other through the glass. “I’m sorry guys, but you have to stay separated for now.” Waverly and Nicole both look up at him before turning their gazes back to each other. Dolls sighs and pulls out his phone, tapping out the number of a certain un-aging cowboy. Doc picks up on the second ring, “Hello! Dolls?! Can you hear me?!” The government agent winces and pulls his ear back, “Yes Doc. I can hear you just fine. Please stop yelling.”

“Sorry,” Doc says, this time in an acceptable volume.

“Yeah, no worries.”

“Is there a reason for your call?”

“Yes, I actually need your help with something.”

“Well how can I be of assistance?”

“I need you to come to Wynonna’s place as soon as you can.”

* * *

“Score,” Wynonna whispers to herself as she pulls off the top of the box she’d found hidden in the wall. Her fingers run along the bones inside, stopping as they reach the skull. It looks just like a normal human skull, but something about it is off. There’s a weird energy Wynonna feels when she stares at it, and it’s disconcerting enough that she quickly fits the lid back on.

She places the grate back on the wall and hurries downstairs.

“Dolls I found the--Oh! Hi Doc….what are you doing here?”

“Wynonna,” the cowboy in question spins around, smiling at the Earp, “Dolls said he was in need of my expertise.”

“I don’t believe those were my exact words,” Dolls grins, “But we do need your help.” Dolls takes the box from Wynonna and hands it over to Doc. “I need you to tell me everything you know about the Stone Witch and her connection to the contents of this box.”

Doc takes it from Dolls and pulls off the lid, eyes widening the second he sees what’s inside. “Where did you get these?”

“They’re Waverly’s,” Wynonna says. “She’s in charge of them I think."

“The Stone Witch called her ‘Keeper of the Bones’. Do you know what that means?” Dolls asks.

“Yeah,” Doc looks up at Wynonna, “It means your baby sister is in a boatload of trouble.”

Both Wynonna and Dolls cast a glance at the lizard tanks a few feet away. Doc follows their stare, letting out a low whistle when he lays eyes on them.

“We have to give her the bones tomorrow night or else Waverly and Nicole stay that way for good,” Dolls explains.

“Well, that happens to be a very big problem because these cannot end up in Miss Constance Clootie’s hands.”

“We weren’t planning on giving them to her,” Dolls responds, “But we need to know if there’s a way that she can tell if we’re giving her a fake.”

Doc laughs, “Of course she can tell. These are the bones of her son. They have a certain aura that they give off, and if she doesn’t pick up on that, she won’t change those two back into people.” He gives a nod in the direction of Waverly and Nicole, who are both hungrily watching a fly that’s landed on the outside of Nicole’s tank. “Should you guys feed them?”

Wynonna shakes her head, “Waverly will kill me if I let her eat a bug. I’ll give them water, and maybe some lettuce…..do lizards eat lettuce?”

“Try apple pieces,” Dolls says, “But cut them very small.”

“Thanks lizard man,” Wynonna grins, clapping him on the back before disappearing into the kitchen to find some food.

“Back to the bone situation,” Dolls pulls one out of the box, “What happens if I put this in with some fakes? Will she know that the rest aren’t the bones she’s looking for?”

Doc thinks for a moment, “I suppose not. But where do you plan on getting decoy bones?”

“I know a girl.”

Doc’s brow furrows, “You my friend are one very strange man.”

* * *

“Thanks Maria,” Dolls says, taking the wooden box from a shorter woman.

“No problem Dolls. Just to make sure, you aren’t planning on returning those, right?”

“Right.”

“Okay,” she climbs back into her red corolla, “I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah,” Dolls nods, “I’ll see you.”

Maria drives off, and Dolls walks back to Wynonna and the SUV.

“You got ‘em?”

“Right here Earp,” he hands her the box and climbs into the car.

“These real?”

Dolls starts the engine, pulling out of the empty lot, “I didn’t ask.”

Wynonna stares at the box with a mild look of disgust. “How much longer until we meet Constance?”

Dolls glances at his watch, “Two hours.”

“What if she doesn’t turn them back?”

“Then she doesn’t get the bones.”

“But then I don’t have a sister anymore.”

“Sure you do….she’ll just be in lizard form.”

“Dolls, I’m serious,” there’s a hint of panic in Wynonna’s voice that Dolls isn’t accustomed to hearing, “What if she leaves them as lizards.”

“Earp, I promise that everything will work out. If she doesn’t change them back, we’ll find someone else who can.”

“Swear?”

“Cross my heart.”

This seems to calm Wynonna a bit, and she turns to watch the world fly past her window. Dolls can’t help the fluttering in his stomach as he glances at her.

* * *

Waverly’s not sure how long she’s been a lizard, her time perception is more than a little screwed up. Not to mention she’s been too busy trying not to do anything gross in front of Nicole, which is taking up most of her concentration. Her stomach pangs when she thinks about that fly that had been on her girlfriend’s tank earlier, and how much she had wanted to eat it.

Speaking of her girlfriend, Nicole had gone to sleep what felt like several hours ago, and Waverly was starting to get bored. She walks over to the side of her tank, banging on it with one of her small lizard hands. Nicole doesn’t budge. Waverly does the lizard equivalent of a sigh before laying down herself. She’s hoping that maybe now she can get some rest, and that when she wakes up everything’ll be back to normal.

* * *

“Awwwww,” Wynonna whispers to Dolls, “They’re sleeping.”

“We should probably wake them up.”

“But they look so peaceful.”

“I know, but we should explain the plan to them.”

“Do you think they’ll understand?”

“It’s worth a shot.” Dolls opens up both tanks, and gently pokes Waverly and Nicole, effectively waking them from their sleep. “Hello guys.” They both blink up at him. “Right, okay. So I’m going to walk you through the plan for tonight and hope that you understand me. Okay so we’re going to drive over to the donut place and meet with the Stone Witch. We’re going to give her some decoy bones, and if she believes that they’re real, she’ll change you guys back. Sound good?” Nicole yawns and curls back up, head facing towards her girlfriend. “Great,” Dolls claps his hands together, “I guess we should get into the car?”

“Oh, wait!” Wynonna runs upstairs and grabs two blankets off of Waverly’s bed. “Okay,” she hurries back to Dolls, “Now we can go.”

“Blankets?”

“It’s cold, and they might not have clothes on when she changes them back.”

“Smart thinking.”

“Thanks,” Wynonna flashes him a smile before grabbing the keys off the table, “Let’s gucci.”

* * *

They arrive at Sam’s Donuts a few minutes before nine. There’s two other cars in the lot, a green duster and a beat up, blue mustang, neither of which belong to Constance. Dolls makes sure to park as far away from the other vehicles as possible, and at an angle where anything that happens on the side of the car won’t be visible from inside.

Wynonna opens up the lizard tanks, and Nicole and Waverly eagerly climb out and into her lap, curling up next to each other. “Awwwww,” Wynonna coos, “They’re such cute friends.”

“Right. Friends.”

Wynonna is about to make a comment when they spot Constance’s white car pull into the lot. It stops a few spots down, and the Stone Witch emerges, decked out in a long red dress and a white fur coat. She’s flanked by two bigger men; bodyguards. Dolls pulls his gun from his holster and grabs the box. “Ready?” he asks Wynonna. She nods and they both hop out of the car.

“Constance Clootie,” Wynonna growls, glaring at the older woman.

“Hello Earp. Do you have what I need?”

Dolls holds up the box, “They’re in here, but we’re not giving them to you until you turn Waverly and Nicole back.

“Ah, yes,” Constance smiles, “I almost forgot about those two lovebirds.”

“Lovebirds?” Wynonna asks, “I think you mean lizards.”

Constance laughs, “Of course. I must be confused.”

Dolls tightens the grip on his gun, “Change them back.”

“But how do I know you’ll give me the bones if I do?”

Dolls sets the box down in front of him and then backs away, pulling Wynonna along with him. “If anybody moves before they’re completely back to normal, I won’t hesitate to pull the trigger.”

Constance eyes the box hungrily, “Sounds fair. Earp, put the two of them down.”

Wynonna does as the blonde woman says, setting her sister and Nicole down on the semi-frozen asphalt. Constance yells something out in what sounds like Latin, throwing her hands forward in the direction of the lizards. They start to change, joints popping out at weird angles as their bodies start to grow and their skin starts to change. The second Wynonna sees a nipple, she throws the blankets over the two of them. A few more seconds and it’s over. Waverly and Nicole both kneel on the ground, shivering as they wrap the blankets tighter around themselves. Dolls slowly lowers his gun, and the man to the right of Constance dashes forward, scooping up the box and eagerly running back to give it to his boss. She takes the box, and they all climb back into her car, quickly driving off into the night.

“I can’t believe that worked,” Dolls says.

“Me neither,” Wynonna helps the two other girls up, “But we should probably get back to the house before they freeze.

“Right,” Dolls hops into the SUV, cranking the heat up all the way as everyone else clambers in.

“How are you two feeling?” Wynonna asks, turning around in her seat.

“Cold,” Waverly says, scooting even closer to Nicole in hopes of sharing body heat.

“And sore,” the redhead chimes in, welcoming the youngest Earp with open arms. They cling to each other tightly, arranging the blankets so they’re both under each. “But I’m glad we’re back to normal.” Waverly nods her agreement before resting her head on Nicole’s shoulder, “I never realized how much it sucks to be a lizard.”

Dolls’ grip on the steering wheel tightens. “Yeah,” he huffs out a laugh, “Must be terrible.”

* * *

Dolls ends up taking the offer to spend the night in the guest room, not wanting to leave them all by themselves, although he knows just how capable the three of them are at protecting themselves. Still, he feels uneasy, and he’s learned to trust his gut.

Although sometimes, it’s completely wrong.

He wakes up to sun shining through the thin curtains, and the smell of bacon filling the house. Laughter rings out from the kitchen, and Dolls quickly throws on his clothes before going to join Waverly and Nicole.

“Where’s Wynonna?” he asks, pouring himself a cup of orange juice.

“Still asleep I think,” Waverly answers as the turns off the burner. “Hungry?”

Dolls nods, and Waverly loads up a plate with bacon, eggs, and pancakes. He takes it gratefully, saying a thank you before he digs into the food. “Damn. This is seriously delicious. Who made these pancakes?”

Nicole grins, “That would be me.”

“They’re amazing.”

“They’re my family’s secret recipe,” she winks.

“A good cook, a great cop, and she’s pretty too. You really found yourself a keeper didn’t you,” Dolls teases, grinning up at Waverly.

“It looks like I did,” she answers back.

Nicole quickly pulls her in for what’s supposed to be a quick kiss but turns into something a little more heavy handed. Dolls screws his face up in mock disgust, “Gross. I’m trying to eat here.”

Waverly flips him the bird and he rolls his eyes before shoveling another bite of pancake into his mouth. “You two better be careful though, Wynonna’s gonna be up any minu--”

“Oh my god!”

Waverly and Nicole jump apart at the sound of the older Earp’s voice.

Wynonna’s jaw drops, _“Are you two dating?!?!”_

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to message me on tumblr if you have other crack au ideas. im @yeralizardwaverly
> 
> also s/o to my wifey @sicsempercanon for getting hype af with me over this au and sticking w me for all the months it took to write it


End file.
